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Announcing a New Service: Travel to Cuba Legally by Being Cuban

with 3 comments

Here at Al-gul we are happy to announce a new service. But first, a little historical context:

It is now a tradition in every presidential campaign that someone in Ireland announces that both candidates have Irish roots. This feat was accomplished even for President Barack Obama, whose father is from Kenya. The lesson to be learned from this exercise is that with a little geneological research, everyone is Irish. Or for that matter, any ethnic group they might want to be.

Cuban-Americans are privileged in that they, alone and in contradistinction to every other ethnic group, may travel to Cuba and ignore the embargo. There are now more flights to the island from Miami than to New York. And not just Havana–Santiago, even Holguin get frequent “charter” flights. Would you like to board one of these? Are you African-American? Sorry. Haitian-American? Too bad. Irish-American? Not even if you’re as Irish as President Obama. What about all the other hyphenated-Americans? How is it possible that one ethnic group is favored over another? Didn’t we learn our lesson with Korematsu v. United States?

Apparently we have not. And that’s where Al-gul steps in. For a minor consideration, Al-gul will employ its crack team of Irish geneologists and find your Cuban relatives. In short, using our services, you can be Cuban and travel to Cuba as often as you’d like along with your new “relatives.” We can’t help with the language, of course, but being able to speak Spanish is not proof of being Cuban. Nor is familiarity with Cuban cuisine, or quite frankly, any characteristic that one might deem particularly Cuban. Ignorance of Cuban customs and traditions is not only an excuse, it’s utterly irrelevant. You may never have even heard that that there was a place called Cuba until just a few minutes ago; no matter. You can be just as Cuban as the President is Irish, and remember, once you’re Cuban, you can make all the travel reservations that you want.

Why not become Cuban today?

Written by mokane

May 31, 2010 at 4:24 am

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. Doesn’t the law prohibiting Americans (except for Cuban-Americans) from spending American dollars in Cuba violate the Equal Protection Clause? Cuban-Americans are not a minority entitled to constitutional preference because of past discrimination. Therefore, how can an act of Congress grant them special rights. And while we’re on the subject, why can I not fly from Miami to Havana like all the privileged Cuban-Americans and spend Euros? Or let’s say I’m an American who works overseas who earns my salary in Qatari rials. Why can’t I take them, convert them into Euros in Doha and spend them in Havana? The law itself is unconstitutional, I believe. Has it been challenged?

    Dr. David Ball

    June 2, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    • In my humble opinion:

      I think it’s clear that that there cannot be a grant of special rights.
      Interestingly enough, the prohibition comes under the Trading with the Enemy Act. The Supreme Court has already said you are free to travel, the “gotcha” is that you can’t spend U.S. dollars (or trade your U.S. dollars for another currency, what cannot be done directly cannot be done indirectly either). However, if you don’t earn U.S. dollars in the first place, you have none to spend, and if the Cubans will accept your Qatari riyals on the island, off you go.
      Or you could simply “become Cuban” yourself and save yourself the hassle.
      As far as I know, the law has not been challenged. To me, at least, it is blatantly unconstitutional.


      June 2, 2010 at 6:14 pm

  2. But the truth remains that I cannot call American Airlines or Cubana and hop on a flight from Miami to Havana. In addition, when I was in Mexico City, I clearly detected American officials at the gate of the flight to Havana; I was told they checked all manifests to see whether any American names popped up.
    It’s an anachronistic law, and it has never served any purpose. It’s time that someone challenged its constitutionality.
    PS: Am I Cuban? How much time will it take to find out?

    Dr. David Ball

    June 2, 2010 at 7:47 pm

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